Coming home

 

A painting depicting Lord Shiva's son Kartik whispering the Om mantra in his father's ear at the Swamimalai temple

 

Architecture of a typical south Indian temple

These days tribe usually means your Twitter or Facebook following.

Though, it used to be that tribe traditionally meant the larger community you are born into and nurtured by. Recently my family and I visited Tanjore, located in the southern tip of India, in search of my husband’s family roots. It was my first visit ever and my first glimpse of the place was a hugely pleasant surprise.

Freshly drawn kolams (patterns made with a white powder or flour) adorned every front yard. The level of complexity and creativity of the kolams could be the envy of many an artist. Street corner vendors who hawked coils of thickly braided ‘mallipu’’ or jasmine and marigolds served like magnets to women on their way to temples or work. But the best sight yet was that of a middle aged woman on her scooter, helmet neatly fastened, whizzing out of the wholesale market yard with sacks of fresh produce jiggling pillion with her.

Our family visit was exploratory, armed with sketchy information about the village – Kamakshipuram – where my husband’s grandfather had donated the sale proceeds of his land to the village temple when the family relocated to Mumbai about seven decades ago. Thanks to an enterprising taxi driver, enthusiastic postmaster of the village and friendly villagers we found the temple and made contact with a resident who has now created a trust to manage the temple.

Just standing there on that piece of earth and interacting with those residents who had a shared ancestry with my family gave me a sense that this was no coincidence, it was meant to be. If anyone had told me that this is how you feel when you walk on your ancestral land I would have probably laughed off the very idea of it. But now I had experienced it.

In her book Anatomy of the Soul, author Carolyn Myss says that the first energy vortex in the human body also known as the Mooladhara in Sanskrit, located in the coccyx, connects us to tribal power. “When we share belief patterns with groups of people we participate in energy and physical events created by those groups. Given the power of unified beliefs – right or wrong - it is difficult to be at variance with one’s tribe. We are taught to make choices that meet with tribal approval, to adopt its social graces, manner of dress, and attitudes. Symbolically, this adaptation reflects the union of individual willpower with group willpower. ..Such a union empowers us so long as we make choices consonant with the group’s.”

A tribe is a powerful force. We are claimed by our tribe before we begin to lay any claim on ourselves. Yet, growing up our sense of identity is chiselled in opposing the tribal beliefs – i.e. those which do not resonate with us at a personal level at that point in our lives. It can be as superficial as wearing clothes that are trendy as opposed to the traditional attire of your community or as big as making a different choice in sexual preferences.

On one level even as we go about the business of living we are walking the universal human journey of becoming conscious of our individual power and how to use that power. In effect, as Myss says, becoming conscious of the responsibility inherent in the power of choice. This invariably leads us down the path of the road less travelled and brings us in conflict with the tribal beliefs.

I like to think that this often leads us to exercise our ‘won’t’ power in some major and other minor issues that we routinely grapple with. How we resolve these conflicts at every bend in the road constitutes the story of our individual lives.

It is the opening up of this power of choice/ consciousness that we plug into every time we hear a voice that says:  “Oh! But this is not the way we do it in our family/ caste/ community/ country.”

 Or, “you think everybody else is a fool and only you know how to do/ cook/ organise/ write/ solve this?”

Or, “but this is India/ US/ UK - rules are different here!”

 Or, “why do you need to do this when someone else has already been there and done it before you?”

These lines are our clue to take centre stage in our own lives and exercise choice. And at the same time to take one more meaningful step in the journey of our soul’s consciousness.

So, where are you at on this long road trip? Me; I choose won’t power sometimes but know that will power is OK too if it feels right for me at the point that I am at. Either way, I make my choice and who says I can’t change it in the next 10 minutes?